“ Are you happy ?”“ I'm a migrant worker , Don't ask me .”“ Are you happy ?”“ My name is Zeng .”······
I believe you still remember the classic Q & A of CCTV's grassroots interview .“ What is happiness ” It is a topic widely discussed in human society , How can people live a happy life , It has always been one of the answers that all living beings want to seek .
“ Harvard adult development research ” Harvard University is a diachronic University 82 Research projects in , start at 1938 year , It continues to this day . The researchers closely followed and investigated 724 Life of participants , The project leader has also changed several terms .
These researchers later entered all walks of life , There are lawyers , doctor , businessman , Drunkard , Career losers , Patients with mental illness ······ Of course, there are famous people , One of them was named John ·F· Kennedy's students , And became president of the United States .
The results of the study reveal the factors that lead to different life situations . Research results , In fact, everyone knows , It's not a big discovery . The conclusion is that ： Good interpersonal relationship can make people happier and healthier .
Including social relations , Kinship and partnership , The emphasis here is on the quality, not the quantity, of the relationships .
See? The conclusion and reason are so simple . The point of research is not to make us live like this , Instead, it demonstrates that this is one of the effective ways to improve the situation of life
. If you want to improve the situation , There are many ways , One of them is to manage good interpersonal relationship . But this is not the only way . As for the other methods , We can try and study .
It's better about how people should live , The Harvard team gave their conclusions , And my advice is —— respectable
. Managing good relationships is one “ Two sides of one body ” Business of , It's in us , It's about other people , therefore , Managing a good relationship is not easy . by comparison , It's easier to be decent .
If a person is decent , It's not far from the happiness you want .
What is decency ? Dignity is not clothing, fur, crown and shoes , It's not about acting in a big way . Decency is to behave properly .
I believe that the majority of boys want to marry a decent girl in all aspects to go home . The majority of girls also want to take a decent boy home . Propriety has nothing to do with excellence , Propriety is understanding and self-respect . There are some people who are excellent in all aspects , You don't have to be decent . such as , Liang, a returnee running without a mask, and Li, a vocational college student, who conceals his illness .
There are some people around us , They are excellent , There's nothing wrong with that , People respect them , But I just can't like them . There are also some people , People like them very much , But the important things can't be handed over to them , Or you can't develop a deeper, more important relationship with them . Why is that ? Because they are not sensible enough .
Sensible is not good , It's not that you don't have yourself , It's about being measured , Do things with care .
some people , We sympathize with them , I understand their difficulties , Willing to help them , But there's no way to deepen a relationship or relationship with them . Why is that ? Because it doesn't have enough weight . Lack of self-respect doesn't mean they're frivolous , It's that they don't value themselves enough , Often talk about your frustration and weakness , In order to get understanding and help . Who has no past ? There is no difficulty ? Who is not frustrated ? Some people don't say , It's not without disappointment , They also admit that they are weak , But don't flaunt it everywhere , But to make up for it in silence .
occasionally , We are always puzzled by some people or things , Are we stupid ? no , We are too arrogant , To others , Make a decision on the matter . You can take a look at Satya's iceberg theory .
After watching , Do you dare to think you know anyone ? One's behavior is the tip of the iceberg , There are so many sedimentary factors behind it that we can't see .
Believe it , People and things we see , It's just appearances , It's just the tip of the iceberg , There are a lot of things we don't know . therefore , When we treat others and affairs , More humility , Think more about yourself. There may be many aspects you don't know , In this way, we won't easily make a decision on others . such , When we're dealing with people , They will not say inappropriate words or do inappropriate behaviors because of their arrogance .
thus , You can see what it is to behave properly —— Sensible , dead weight , modest , Do things in a proper way , Be considerate of others , No “ Show ” weak , Willing to solve problems through their own efforts , Not arrogant .
Are you more willing to do this （ appropriate ） Take it home , Even if he / She doesn't look so good , The background is not so bright . think about it , Sometimes , You are not accepted , Isn't it decent enough , Not well dressed , Not decent enough , Not decent enough . Propriety has nothing to do with education , It's not about ability , It has nothing to do with economic conditions , It's not about the background , It's about your own awareness , Adults should be aware of this as soon as possible . Wake up as soon as possible , Get recognition from others as soon as possible , Get more opportunities , Achieve your goals .
We should optimize our life circumstances , You need to improve your relationships , Get more support and help , There is an old saying in China “ friendliness is conducive to business success ”, This harmony refers to a harmonious partnership , Harmonious relationship between relatives and friends , Harmonious social relations . We should improve interpersonal relationship , You have to improve yourself first , Be a decent person . henceforth , Consciously measure the appropriateness of what you say and what you do .
Recognize your situation , Accept the current reality , be neither humble nor pushy , No hurry, no impatience , Things are bound to improve . in addition , It's very important ,
Never equate your desire with happiness , Otherwise you will miss a lot of happiness , Your desire is only desire itself .
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